So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
