dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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