"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
