I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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