Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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