their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
