she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sex in a hospital.. check
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
