Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize