Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
