Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
