There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
