i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
