Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
