I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
