One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
