Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All the doctor said was why
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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