So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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