Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
