Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
