He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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