Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
