i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
