just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
false alarm. still invincible.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
