Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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