OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
