How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
