Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
