Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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