Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
