These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
third nipple confirmed
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
