Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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