I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
