the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
two words...techno handjob
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize