i don't like sucking hair
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
