I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
