To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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