3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
