Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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