guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
