Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
