My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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