i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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