i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So apparently I’m into choking now
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