We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize