I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize