I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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