Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
