none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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