Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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