Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
