i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
