I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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