I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
