Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
