is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
try to milk me bitch
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
